Is it 4C I see?

One of my favourite things about being a black woman is how versatile our hair is. We can have a bob today, long straight the next day.

I have no grown memory of what my natural hair texture was like. I did not have relaxers in my hair as a little girl but my mum always had extensions in my pigtails or I had my hair in braids. I remember crying every time I needed to get my hair done. My mum took her time in “decorating” my hair all the time. The memories of my hair as a little girl are: (i) being in pain and, (ii) sitting in between the knees of Jumoke - the hairdresser that came to my house every weekend. The word often thrown about was stubborn which was often thrown around by the hairdressers while I got my hair done.

“Virgin hair too dey stubborn!”

I have all these memories about my hair but none of what my actual hair looked or felt like. It's all shrouded in pain from abusive Jumoke - story for another day - and expressions.

Just For Me!

I got my first relaxer at age 7. I was in a car accident on the way back from school with my little brother. A piece of glass rammed right in the middle of my forehead - between my eyebrows. At the time, I had my hair in braids and so I did not need to get my hair done for the period that the wound was healing. Before the accident, I had been looking wistfully at the Just4Me relaxer kit in the stores: with girls with beautiful silky hair settings on the boxes. When the time came around to get my hair done - by which time I had healed to an extent - I thought this was the perfect opportunity to get my hair relaxed! I cried and cried till I eventually convinced my mum that I couldn’t possibly have my hair touched in its natural state because it was too painful and would eventually rupture the suture on my forehead.

My manipulation was successful and the Just For Me relaxer kit was purchased. I was so excited when it arrived at the house! I ran to it, it was like a new toy. I ripped the box open, read the contents of the box, was fascinated that it was all labelled: 1, 2, 3 and it even had a cassette tape inside the box! Wicked! The day I got my first relaxer was the happiest day of my life and I never looked back!

Whose hair is this?

In 2014, I read Chimamanda’s Americanah. Among all the themes and nuances that ensued throughout the book, hair - natural African hair in particular - resonated with me the most. It was very interesting to read about having natural hair and what it meant to have natural hair. When I speak to other ladies with natural hair to find out what the stimuli for going back natural was, I usually heard something more inspirational and woke than “I read Americanah”.

But this is my story. Chimamanda’s book inspired me. I watched a load of Youtube channels to educate myself. Discovered all the different textures that were out there - type 3A to 4C - the lingo: transitioning, the big chop, TWA, LOC method, no parabens, no shampoo, leave-in conditioner, stripping, wash and go, Bantu knots, twist out and the likes. It opened up my eyes to natural hair and how naive I was about the hair that was growing out of my scalp.

I decided to stop relaxing my hair and to make sure I committed to it, I cut my hair. November 1st 2014, my friend Marilyn helped me with it. I cut it so it was long enough that I could still braid it and weave it down for a wig but short enough that I marked the beginning of my transition. I wanted to add my natural hair to the list of versatile hairstyles I am afforded as a black woman.

I searched “Black hair tutorials” on Youtube and saw all these curly textures. I began to daydream of doing my "wash and go". The majority of the Youtubers that were recommending products had type 4A hair. I spent a lot of money on all the trendy products: curl enhancing smoothie, curl defining cream; and did the tea rinses, the apple cider vinegar, stopped using shampoo; the whole nine. Whenever I dreamed of my hair, I imagined curly 4A/4B hair. That was what I saw and I felt these were the products to help me achieve that look. So you can imagine the absolute shock when hair began to grow and it was not the texture I saw as the representative of natural hair on Youtube.

I wondered, “Whose hair is this?”. Do not get me wrong, I love my 4C hair in all its glory and I will not change anything about it. However, reality and my expectation did not quite match. I did not realise that the information I was feeding myself with shaped this expectation. As soon as I made this realisation, I cut off the remaining part of my relaxed ends and embraced the natural journey in its totality.

And boy did I embrace it! I searched 4C Youtubers in particular, to see product reviews and educate myself on how to look after the hair that is growing out of my head. I dedicated an entire day, dubbed “wash day” to washing and conditioning my hair. Depending on how efficient I was, those wash days sometimes extended to a “wash weekend“. At this time, a friend of mine with 4C had started her own Youtube channel, Grow! Growing! Grown? And I learned so much about how to take care and style my hair from it. I also found Joulzey on Youtube and she had a video on texturism in the natural hair community, how brands focused on those with certain hair texture and how 4C Youtubers were at the bottom of the totem pole.

I began to notice a trend with these products, they all advertise and claim to make your natural hair look different from its naturalness. False advertising! It does not matter the number of curl creams and curl defining lotions I use, I cannot change the way my hair looks without chemical manipulation. I can only style my hair curly, just like I can style it straight but it is a temporary look. I do not have curly hair growing out of my scalp and will never have it. And that is absolutely fine!

The hair companies set a standard of beauty that should be aspired to. A look at some of the staple brands’ social media accounts is indicative of what I mean. 4C hair texture is the most underrepresented. It is very similar to the Just For Me posters I looked at as a little girl. It is all about selling a beauty standard! Convincing buyers that this is the standard and these products will help to attain it. They know these products will not work and we will keep on going back for more!

As soon as I realised this, I began to see the futility of all the efforts I was putting into looking after my hair. It should never be this difficult to look after my natural hair. It shouldn’t take an entire day just to wash my hair. Now it only takes a few minutes of my day to wash and condition my hair as opposed to the hours that I used to set aside just for deep conditioning. All the effort I put in was to achieve a particular hair texture. Of course, it is important to look after your hair, keep it clean and feed with products that will keep it healthy and moisturised. I have felt liberation with this realisation. I have embraced my blackness and the Africanness of my hair and its absolutely beautiful. I still wear my wigs and weaves as often as I like. Sometimes, switching it up and most times, reverting to my staple "puff" look. And it has been very friendly to my pockets :)

#blackhair #4cnaturalhair